Lessons from a robot

"Once you have learned to love you will have learned to live".

My dad, who is 66, is so conscientious he has never had a day off work (other than annual leave) in his whole life. Even if he feels under the weather he goes in as he worries about letting people down.

I was really shocked to receive a phone call from his boss this lunchtime to say he hadn't turned up and they couldn't reach him on the phone. Naturally they realised this was really out of character and were worried. Thus commenced a frantic half hour trying to trace him (he is fine) but my heart rate is still returning to normal.

I had watched the Transformers movie not long ago with my son and Optimus Prime said "the greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how they love them while they're alive". I instantly loved this quote and it made me wonder when I had last told my family and friends how much they mean to me. I mentally resolved to remedy this as soon as I could. With some people it was easy to have a hug and tell them how important they are to me, but with other, non tactile friends, I have to admit I didn't say anything as I felt, well, slightly ridiculous. What this afternoon has taught me though is that it is ridiculous not to express how you really feel while you have the chance, as ultimately we never know when we may get another opportunity.

So if any of this resonates with you please seize the moment and be honest about how you feel. If we are lucky enough to feel love and gratitude we should shout it from the rooftops.

Do we have free choice?

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't". Steve Maraboli

Ok so living in the Now, going with the flow and not resisting life are things I try to live by every day. The flip side to this is that I do like order, routine and stability. Hey I'm a Taurus, it's not my fault, I am pre-programmed to dislike change.

I think it is natural to want to feel some sort of control over our own lives, to be the driver of our own bus as it were, and to an extent we are.

We have the right to free choice which we exercise every day. This morning I changed my mind twice before settling for porridge for breakfast for example. What about the biggies though? The things we would change if we could?

My pain and mobility levels have taken a drastic turn for the worst this past week. Actually this is something I am handling really well. I am just letting it be. Not fighting the way I feel, getting frustrated or pushing myself too hard. This is just a temporary state I know. I hope to improve again, I may get worse, who knows? I certainly don't and won't spend my days analysing if I have done something to cause this and living out possible scary scenarios in my mind.

It is harder with my son though who is still poorly after a month. I want to stamp my feet, have a good cry and make things different. I want him well, full of energy and back at school. If I give into these feelings though, let them consume me, all I will change is the energy of our whole household, and not in a good way either. So how do we dispel these unhealthy urges?

Meditating is what keeps my mind clear. I can let the thoughts, whatever they may be, pop into my head and then let them drift away. I guess, to an extent, I treat my mind like a naughty child. If it misbehaves I don't put my attention on it. When it behaves in a more positive way I am happy to focus on the way I feel.

After a meditation I feel calmer, energised and happier. I know I am not affecting my son with any negative energy as he easily picks up on the way I feel. It's such an invaluable tool, easy to do anywhere and breaks the cycle of chatter that can be detrimental to my emotional well-being.

There are many things, we can't, with the best will in the world influence, but we can choose to change the way we feel about them. Now, back to things I can control. Hmmm, now what to have for lunch? 

Spreading the love

Louise xx