I choose to forgive

“Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself”.

I have just had a horrible experience.

Going out with my son for the first time in his new car (he has just passed his driving test) we parked in a disabled bay (using my eligibility badge) only to have a complete stranger come and shout at us aggressively that we shouldn’t be there.

I don’t “look” disabled apparently and if I was I would be unable to stand at all.

He then started taking photos of us and of the car and filming us. His idea was to intimidate and to a point, it worked. I wanted to remove my son from the situation as quickly as possible. Naturally he was upset knowing what I have been through health-wise and wanted to stick up for me.

So what can you do when someone intentionally tries to ruin your day?

I had various options. I could have shouted back, tried to justify myself, let my son deal with him, got upset or, as I have in the past, felt ashamed of my disability and let an experience like this put me off going out at all.

Instead I choose to forgive him. Yes he was rude, misinformed, judgemental and ignorant but this will have a greater impact on him throughout his life, far greater than he had on mine today.

Forgiveness ensures that I can let this experience go and not harbour any negative feelings surrounding it. It was unpleasant but no amount of lamenting can change it. By forgiving this man I am also forgiving myself for not reacting in a different way. I know that not dwelling on what I could of or should have done or said is far better for my emotional and physical health.

Holding on to anger and bitterness will, eventually manifest itself physically. By embracing forgiveness I am also embracing love, peace and all things good. Leaving me free to continue travelling along the road to healing unhindered. 

It is a shame that people aren’t always as compassionate and open as we would hope them to be. All I can continue to do is to treat people with the same love and respect I would like to be shown.

Be kind. Always.

Louise xx

Doctors treating the physical through the emotional?

The NHS really surprised me yesterday. It couldn't have surprised me more if it had leapt out of a cupboard shouting boo.

I have been in and out of hospital the past few years having treatment on my back and pelvis. As part of my treatment carries a future cancer risk my consultant has decided to give my body a break from invasive treatments for a period and referred me for a meeting with a different team.

I attended yesterday not sure what to expect. It started off with them running through different pain killers available, all of which I have tried, none of which I continued to take as, for me, the negatives of constantly being medicated outweigh the positives. A mechanical restoration class with other patients in a rehabilitation stage was mentioned although, after examination,  it was agreed my body would not cope with such movement at this stage.

Then (and this is the good bit) I was asked if I was aware of the mind/body connection and how I felt about this. Although I work in this field I am the first to hold my hands up and say I do have fear about pushing myself past my perceived physical limitations and setting my recovery back. It has always been two steps forward and one step back and I am mindful of my structural abnormalities.
I am not sure how wide spread this is in hospitals but I was told they run education programmes on meditation, relaxation and for patients such as myself teach visualisation techniques where you keep picturing yourself doing things you used to which, in turn, over a period of time, the mind begins to believe the body is capable of more.

I never turn down a chance to try someone else's teachings and methods and never assume I know all there is to know so I am due to begin this programme next month.

I find it so exciting that doctors are acknowledging there is more to physical health than, well, the physical and that there are other, powerful, options to medication.

I wanted to share this as I had not heard of this happening before and would love to hear from anyone who is aware of orthodox practitioners taking a more holistic approach.

Spreading the love,

Louise xx