Will Smith, Another Earth - A Mindful Movie

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future". Will Smith

I watched Another Earth last night with my husband. Not a huge fan of sci-fi films I wasn't expecting to enjoy it but with a big batch of homemade salsa and some tortillas I was prepared to give it a go.

What I wasn't expecting was the touching and sensitively covered development of the father and son relationship between Cypher (Will Smith) and his son Katai (Jaden Smith). Cypher blames Katai for a past event and battles with acceptance, forgiveness and moving forward. There is a lot of underlying anger, resentment and guilt under the surface but I won't spoil the movie and tell you how that works out. 

Cypher has to coach Katai in ways to face his fears using the same techniques I teach in mindfulness. Katai is encouraged to step into the moment using all five senses to notice his external and internal surroundings. Noticing what you can feel, hear, see, touch, to focusing on breath really does help you step out of fight or flight anxiety and ground you in the here and now.

Will Smith makes a great speech in the movie  “Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present, and may not ever, exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.We are all telling ourselves a story."

If fellow movie goers take just one thing away from this movie I hope it's that fear is a choice. What do you choose?

When opportunity knocks, do you have to answer?

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” Josh Billings

Recently I have had an amazing opportunity pretty much fall into my lap and when the door of opportunity opens, you should jump through before it swings shut again right? Well, no. In my case it was more tentatively shuffling through with my hands over my eyes, not convinced it was the right thing at all.

I gained some clarity today whilst talking it through with my teacher and mentor Shamash Alidina. "Saying no to something", he wisely told me, "is saying yes to something else. If you don't take this one, other opportunities will come".

Of course it can be scary turning down a surefire thing (especially financially) but I had momentarily lost sight of one of the Dalai Lama's 18 rules for living, the 3 R's.

Respect of self. Respect for others. Responsibility for all your actions.

As grateful as I am for this opportunity, and no matter how many people tell me I am lucky and should go for it, I know in my heart it is not the right thing for me.

So, I am honouring myself, and all involved in saying no and I trust that there will be other, exciting things ahead if I remain open and true to myself.

If find yourself in a similar situation trust your instincts, they won't guide you wrong.

Quit quitting

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” Thomas Edison

The conversation around our dinner table last night was centred around Lent, something my youngest son had learnt about at school that day. "I don't know what to give up", he pondered. "I'm going to quit quitting", chipped in my teenage son in jest. My youngest son however thought this was a great idea. He went on to tell us about a project they were working on at school about inventors, specifically covering James Dyson, created of the Dyson vacuum. So I learnt last night that James made 5127 prototypes and had 14 years worth of debt before he created his vision.

Wow, I was blown away. I thought about some of the half started projects I have that I have deemed not to work and vowed to have another go. So in the words of my son I am going to have a little more faith and quit quitting before I have given things a really fair shot.

Make your own almond butter

Making your own almond butter is super easy, if a little time consuming, and best of all you know exactly what's in it. Almonds are a great source of  vitamin E, fibre, B vitamins, magnesium, copper, manganese, calcium and potassium as well has essential fats. 

I use almond butter for many recipes but my kids enjoy spread onto toast and for dipping celery and apple into. Deliciously creamy, add it to your oatmeal or put into yoghurts or smoothies. 

I begin by lightly toasting almonds - I prefer the end flavour but this is not a necessary step.

Next place into a blender (use the metal blade) and switch on. Now depending on the blender you use this could take around 20 minutes so if you feel your blender may overheat switch off and give it a rest. I generally give mine a five minute break halfway through.

The mixture will being to look like breadcrumbs - you are on your way!

As the almonds release their oil the mixture begins to get creamy - using a plastic spatula gently push the mixture back to the bottom (you may need to do this several times).

When the mixture begins to clump together like a dough you are almost there - keep going!

It should end up beautifully creamy. Place in a jar in the fridge to set and enjoy.

Raw vegan brownies (only 4 ingredients)

These brownies are my go-to snack when I have my sweet tooth head on. With only 4 ingredients they are super quick to make and ready to eat in only 60 minutes. Oh and did I mention they are crazy good too?

I use medjool dates as they are extra sweet with a yummy caramel like taste.  A fantastic source of fibre they also contain potassium, magnesium, copper and manganese. Packed full of nutrients a regular addition of pecan nuts in the diet help decrease LDL "bad cholesterol" and increase HDL "good cholesterol" levels in the blood. The raw cacao powder is rich in antioxidants, EFAs along with other essential vitamins and minerals such as vitamins B and E, magnesium, calcium, sulfur, zinc, iron, copper, potassium and manganese.

The liquid sweetener can be of your choosing. I did use Agave for this batch (I don't always) but you need to weigh up the high fructose content against the fact it is low glycemic sweetener; it's personal choice and I tend to regularly vary my ingredients. Maple syrup or honey would work just as well.

To make a big batch (you can half if you wish) take: 

8 oz pecans

10 oz medjool dates

3 tablespoons of cacao powder

2 tablespoons liquid sweetener 

Place nuts in a food processor and blend until they become crumbly. throw in the other ingredients and blend until it is well mixed and sticky. Place on a baking tray or silicon loaf tin and freeze until set (usually around 60 minutes). Store in the fridge. 

Try Loving Kindness this Valentines

“There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness”. Dalai Lama

You can’t have failed to notice it’s Valentines. The shops have been full of heart shaped chocolate boxes, novelty gifts and overpriced roses for weeks.

How do you feel about today? Do you practically wrestle the mailman to the ground in an attempt to extort any envelopes which may contain cards declaring undying devotion?  Maybe you automatically hold your breath each time you hear a car outside (it could be a flower delivery)? 

It can be a fun day for couples who totally embrace the romance and celebrate whole heartedly but if you have wildly different ideas than your partner, the day inevitably ends with one, or both parties sulking in a corner. When people can’t communicate honestly regarding their assumption as to what the day will hold is it any wonder their needs aren’t met?

If you have unrealistic expectations for Valentines and equate gifts and cards with validation that you are indeed loveable, then maybe you are lacking self love and no amount of cute bears holding hearts is going to fix that. It’s inevitable that you will end the day feeling let down and disappointed. 

Loving kindness is a meditation practice that helps you develop altruistic love. By practicing regularly you can free your mind from old, negative, self-limiting thought patterns which govern your emotional state and cultivate compassion both towards yourself, and your fellow man.

Buddha once said "Hatred cannot coexist with loving-kindness, and dissipates if supplanted with thoughts based on loving-kindness.”

Studies have shown that being compassionate towards others may be one of the best ways to improve health and well-being, increase positive social connectivity and lower blood pressure. Best of all loving kindness can be practiced anywhere from coffee shops to traffic jams.

Beginning a practice of loving kindness can initially feel uncomfortable. It can feel unnatural to offer ourselves love which is precisely why we should and what better day than today to being a journey a self-love?

You can find audio for our Loving Kindness meditation here. 

The lost art of letter writing

“To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart”. Phyllis Theroux

I was deep in my morning meditation when I heard the post drop onto the mat. I was in no rush to collect it. It had been a long time since I received anything other than a bill or statement in the mail. 

Imagine my delight therefore to receive a beautiful hand written letter from one of my closest friends. Crafted on proper stationary I was touched by her heartfelt words and also by the time and effort she had taken to let me know how much she appreciates our friendship.

When I was at school I used to eagerly await the postman every morning. I had numerous penpals and savoured every word written to me eagerly replying as soon as I could. Gradually as I got older, and became more reliant on technology I somehow, sadly, stopped writing to people properly.

Texts and emails are a quick, easy way of keeping in touch but there is something special about receiving an unexpected letter in the post. I am going to make a conscious effort to do my bit to resurrect the lost art of letter writing. Here are five reasons why you should too: - 

Letters can be preserved - the letter I received this morning is now safely tucked away inside my gratitude journal where it will bring me joy each time I reread. 

Letters form a connection - the writer really connects to the recipient. It’s like love in an envelope.

Letters are a mindful way to communicate - emails and texts are easily sent without thought and often regretted afterwards. Taking the time to find stationary, write a letter, buy a stamp and walk to the postbox gives you plenty of time to reflect on your words.

Letters are personal - you know the writer has sat and thought about you specifically. Totally different to being copied in on an email or being sent a mass text.

Letters will survive - ever felt the wonder of looking through your grandparents old photos and letters; discovering who they were and the world that existed before you were born? Letters preserve a sense of history that technology can never recreate.

So whatever your weekend plans are - why not incorporate writing a letter to someone you care about? This small gesture could really make their day.