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At The Happy Starfish we are dedicated to providing a wealth of information, products, workshops and articles all aimed at celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living. We believe that life should be an awesome adventure filled with love; love life and life will love you back. Are you willing to surrender what you think you are for what you could become? Are you ready?

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

I'm not ok (and that's ok)

Happiness can only exist in acceptance". George Orwell 

I woke up this morning, went to get out of bed and the pain was so great I virtually couldn't move.

"Are you ok" my partner asked? 

"Ummm, actually, no".

There was a time such a flare up would really have impacted upon my emotional well-being. I would be flung into a complete blind panic picturing myself never moving again resulting in my neglected children half starving in dirty clothes. 

Analysing over and over again what could have caused the set back, resisting the situation and worrying about how I would cope was absolutely the worst thing I could have done to my poor body. Heaping extra stress on already tense muscles merely exacerbated and prolonged the period of increased pain.

I would berate myself for being a burden, blame my body for not being 'normal'; not offering myself the extra love I needed to recover as quickly as possible.

Today I am perfectly calm. The timing is terrible with it being the school holidays but flexibility is paramount for a harmonious life. Realising that things happen beyond my control and it's ok not be be ok was one of the biggest lessons for me to learn, and one which took a huge amount of time.

Instead of listing all the negatives that will surround my flare up I have focused only on the positives. 

Today I am grateful for:-

1). My partner who loves me very much unconditionally.
2). My children who won't complain at a change of plans and will be happy with a day at home today.
3). To be able to do something I love (writing) without it affecting my pain levels.
4). To have money in my purse to be able to order a pizza later if needed.
5). To be sat in a warm comfortable chair looking at the snow outside. 

There is always, alway, always something to be thankful for.


  1. Hi, Yes, just been through the same scenario, and have posted a gratitude piece on my blog too! Thinking of you xx


  2. Thanks Julie.

    Wow you have some beautiful photos on your blog, very inspiring.

    Hope you recover soon too xx

  3. How refreshing to "meet" a kindred soul in the blogosphere. :) I was having a really tough "pain day" (drove home in tears actually), and had to reign my brain in from the overwhelm. I was grateful that my husband was at work when I called to unload... He is a blessing, really. At the top of my gratitude list.

    I also have two children...one of them with special needs, which keeps things very interesting. Many days are like walking a tightrope, and I can relate to your vision of seeing your children half-starving in dirty clothes! It can be hard to keep perspective, and to know that parenting is more about the love, and less about the "DOing".

    It is a tough journey though...and here in the US, there seems to be a belief that the busier and more active one is, the more important one is. Tough for folks who aren't even in that race anymore, or find themselves compromised. Sigh...

    Thank you. Thank you for your honesty, as it helps others like me be "okay" with not being okay.

    BTW, I blog at: www.acrazykindoffaith.com

  4. Thanks Chris,

    Loved your blog, we have lots in common. Pelvic injuries suck! I think it's unhelpful when professionals predict chronic pain (I had this too). It's hard to get out of that mindset, and how can they possibly know? My latest doctor hates the word chronic as he thinks it sounds too permanent and uses persistent pain instead. Determined to shake it off :-)

    Hope you have a better day today.

    Louise xx