Your New Year's Resolution should be this

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line". Lucille Ball

Are you making New Year’s resolutions? Many of us are hurtling towards 2014 with good intentions and the hope that next year we can transform ourselves into the people we want to be.

Put the brakes on; there is only one thing you need to develop next year. Self-love. Yep, it’s that simple. If we take a look at five of the most common resolutions of 2013 you will see why.

1) Eat healthily

If you practice self-love you will begin to respect your body in a way you never thought possible. Naturally you will want to fuel yourself with the cleanest foods available meaning a healthier, slimmer you.

2)  Drink less alcohol

There is nothing wrong with the odd social drink if you choose to do so but practice self-love and any excess bingeing borne out of self loathing will naturally grind to a halt.

3) Quit smoking

With self-love comes gratitude. The human body is awesome and capable of so many great things, you won’t want to potentially affect your health through cigarettes.

4) Save money

With self-love comes an inner tranquility and contentment. The need to fill time with activities or shopping to give ourselves that endorphin release becomes a thing of the past. There is happiness to be found in just Being.

5) Better work/life balance

Through self-love you learn to recognise your own value, know that it’s ok to say no, set boundaries and put your own needs first. You can be a team player at work without compromising your family and social time.

So ditch the lists, you don’t need them, or the hard time you may give yourself if your resolve weakens (a slice of chocolate cake on 2nd January does not make you a bad person). Instead, love yourself as though your life depends on it and everything else will just fall into place.

Gifts from a stranger

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love". Hamilton Wright Mabie

There is nothing like a random act of kindness to give me a warm fuzzy feeling and although it really is the little things that can touch someone's heart the generosity of Greg Parady has blown me away.

Greg, the owner of Parady Financial Group was shopping in a Walmart in Florida for bikes for the Toys for Tots charity when he overheard a conversation that upset him

A customer was talking worriedly about money, she couldn't pay off her layaway and was upset she couldn't buy gifts for her children. 

Without hesitation Greg whipped out his credit card and not only paid off her bill but at least half of every customer's layaway. In total Greg spent over $20,000.

While Christmas shouldn't be about the material and this is, without a doubt, a huge amount of money to spend, thanks to a stranger's generosity there will be many a happy child opening their Christmas presents this year, overlooked by relaxed parents who haven't had to fall into debt buying the gifts.

Have yourself a stress free little christmas

"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas". Calvin Coolidge

Wow, it's hard to believe we are in December already, this year has flown by so fast. Have you written your cards? Wrapped your gifts? Feel in control of your pre-holiday preparations?

If the thought of the impending celebrations make you want to cower under the kitchen table you’re not alone. Follow my tips for a stress-free Christmas. 

Look after yourself. This has to be number one. It's only natural to worry about everyone else making sure they have what they need to enjoy the festive period but if you are not ok your family is not ok. Frantically running around in your lunch break searching for the perfect gifts will take its toll on your emotional and physical health. Take regular time out to rejuvenate. 10 minutes mindful breathing a day will do wonders for your stress levels. Delegate where you can - who says you have to do it all on your own?

Take a reality check. You may have a to-do list a mile long but what would actually happen if you didn't do everything on it? The world wouldn't end if everything wasn't perfectly co-ordinated or if the place cards weren't handmade. Condense your list down and don't sweat the small stuff.

Let go of traditions that don't work for you. You probably have an idea of the 'right' way to celebrate christmas that comes from childhood traditions but do they actually work for you and your family? My friend refuses to cook, spends all day in her pyjamas and has pizza for dinner and has the best time. 

Embrace the imperfection. It is natural to want the day to be perfect but demanding perfection is a form of control and that never goes well! Relax. So the kids want to decorate the tree their way, the decorations are hand made, not symmetrically hung and would never be featured in a glossy magazine. Who cares really but you?

Cheat if you want to. I used to be THE worst for having to have everything home made. Stuffing, bread sauce, you name it I would have slaved over a saucepan to create it. Now I am happy to buy store bought to make the day easier for me. I get to spend more quality time with my children and nobody notices the difference. Everyone remembers a big family meal around a table. The love, the laughter and the sharing. Nobody really actually cares whether the cranberry sauce comes out of a jar or not. 

Ditch the judgement. Your Uncle Jack is notoriously hard to buy for but you have found him the perfect gift. He opens it, frowns and places it to one side. How do you feel? Don't let the negative committee in your head tell you that you got it spectacularly wrong, that you have failed in some way or even that he is an ungrateful pig. Take a breath and move on.

Memories not material. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. It's not worth starting a new year stressed out and debt ridden. Ultimately the most important thing about the holidays is the memories you create. In ten years time your children will never remember what presents they received but they will remember the togetherness. Find perfection in the love not the stuff.

Happy holidays