Not everyone is celebrating

"Happy New Year".

Three little words that have appeared with alarming regularity in my social network feeds today. Many people have plans and have started partying already. If you are one of them, I hope you have a good night.

What of those though who haven't had such a great year? Those who have lost someone they love, be it through a passing or the end of a relationship and can't see a reason to celebrate?

I have been in this position and it can feel incredibly lonely and isolating watching (seemingly) the entire world celebrate and yet feeling separate from it yourself.

If it's your first New Year without a special someone in your life be gentle with yourself. Do what feels right to you and don't feel guilty about it. If you want to be alone don't let anyone tell you that's wrong. It can be the loneliest feeling in the world sometimes to be surrounded be people.

If someone special has passed this year, honour them by raising a glass and toasting their memory. Know they would want you to go on and be happy. To live your life to the fullest.

If you are lucky enough not to have had a loss this year be mindful of those who have. A quick phone call to let someone know they are being thought of can mean so much.

Unfortunately we don't all get the opportunity to see 2013 but for those that do allow yourself to be loved, by others and, most most importantly yourself. Treasure those who are important to you and don't put off saying what is in your heart until a "better" time. There might not be another time.

I wish each and everyone of you a Peaceful and Loving New Year.

The only New Years Resolution you will EVER need

It's that crazy time of year again when lists are made with often unachievable, sometimes downright ridiculous goals.

Three people I know have already decided on theirs. One is currently eating through the Christmas food like there is a famine approaching so she can start a diet on January 1st, another has signed up to a gym but she doesn't want to actually start until New Year (although she has bought all the kit), and the third is "absolutely, definitely" going to give up smoking this year "for sure".

Sound familiar?

How often have you made a resolution only to break it and subsequently feel negatively about yourself? Why not try something different this year?

Although I don't really condone New Years Resolutions (why delay feeling happy until you are thinner/fitter/healthier etc?) if you want to make one, try this:-

"Be Kind"

Yep, it really is that simple. Be kind to yourself. If you need to change your diet, improve your fitness, give up smoking etc by all means try. That's being kind to yourself. However, if it doesn't work out don't be hard on yourself. You are not a failure. Be Kind.

Someone treating you not in a way you would choose to be treated? Be Kind. You don't know what's going on with them, and you are not a mind reader so don't second guess. Everyone has their own story to tell and we all could benefit from some kindness, always.

You can Be Kind, to anyone, in any situation but most of all, remember to apply it to yourself. Kindness flows into gratitude which transmutes into love. What more do we actually need?

If everyone used this as their New Years Resolution how lovely the world would be.

Happy New Year.

Louise xx

Do we have free choice?

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't". Steve Maraboli

Ok so living in the Now, going with the flow and not resisting life are things I try to live by every day. The flip side to this is that I do like order, routine and stability. Hey I'm a Taurus, it's not my fault, I am pre-programmed to dislike change.

I think it is natural to want to feel some sort of control over our own lives, to be the driver of our own bus as it were, and to an extent we are.

We have the right to free choice which we exercise every day. This morning I changed my mind twice before settling for porridge for breakfast for example. What about the biggies though? The things we would change if we could?

My pain and mobility levels have taken a drastic turn for the worst this past week. Actually this is something I am handling really well. I am just letting it be. Not fighting the way I feel, getting frustrated or pushing myself too hard. This is just a temporary state I know. I hope to improve again, I may get worse, who knows? I certainly don't and won't spend my days analysing if I have done something to cause this and living out possible scary scenarios in my mind.

It is harder with my son though who is still poorly after a month. I want to stamp my feet, have a good cry and make things different. I want him well, full of energy and back at school. If I give into these feelings though, let them consume me, all I will change is the energy of our whole household, and not in a good way either. So how do we dispel these unhealthy urges?

Meditating is what keeps my mind clear. I can let the thoughts, whatever they may be, pop into my head and then let them drift away. I guess, to an extent, I treat my mind like a naughty child. If it misbehaves I don't put my attention on it. When it behaves in a more positive way I am happy to focus on the way I feel.

After a meditation I feel calmer, energised and happier. I know I am not affecting my son with any negative energy as he easily picks up on the way I feel. It's such an invaluable tool, easy to do anywhere and breaks the cycle of chatter that can be detrimental to my emotional well-being.

There are many things, we can't, with the best will in the world influence, but we can choose to change the way we feel about them. Now, back to things I can control. Hmmm, now what to have for lunch? 

Spreading the love

Louise xx